Naked Man Assaults A 7-11 Clerk

AbrahamAndresLuna

Nude is no way to go through the legal system, son.

Police say that Abraham Andres Luna, 30, sprinted naked around a golf course and crashed into a patrol car as he eluded authorities on a bizarre chase, WTSP reports.

Authorities in Tarpon Springs were alerted to a suspected streaker prancing around wearing only construction boots at the Tarpon Springs Golf Course Monday evening. Police responded, but the naked man slipped by.

Later that night, deputies gave chase to a white van driven by a still-naked Luna, but called off the pursuit when the vehicle crossed county lines.

At approximately 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday, Luna — still naked, obviously — decided to take a pit stop at a 7-Eleven in Holiday, where he allegedly punched the store clerk in the face, TBO reports.

That’s when Luna reportedly bolted from the scene, heading north in the southbound lanes of U.S. 19, according to MyFoxTampaBay. He allegedly sideswiped a police cruiser in his attempt to flee. Police say that Luna then jumped out of the van — yes, naked — and made a run for it by foot.

Police arrested Luna and presumably forced him to put some clothes on.

A smart man would’ve stopped,” he later said, according to Bay News 9. “I thought I could get away. Who gets away from 20 cops?”

Luna faces a slew of charges, including attempted auto burglary, aggravated assault, battery, aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer, reckless driving, and resisting without violence.

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The 10 Strangest Naked Crimes of 2011

By Stephanie Rabiner, Esq.

There’s nothing new about nakedness. It’s been around since the dawn of time. But 2011 was a very special year for our natural state — it saw the rise of the naked criminal.

Yes, 2011 saw dozens of criminals stripping down and illegally strutting their stuff. There were women who nakedly hung from cliffs, and others who shook it for the court. There was even a naked runner and an attorney looking for a naked sword fight.

But in the strangest stories of all, thieves, old men and the intoxicated were the naked suspects. With that, here are the top naked stories of the past year:

arrest1Now that you’re sufficiently scarred, it’s time to move on to more important things. This year was all about the naked criminal, which means it will soon be a thing of the past. But as year-end traditions require, we must predict what next year’s criminal trend will be. If you’ve got an idea (or a lingering hope), share your guess on the FindLaw Facebook Page wall. And to keep abreast of all things legal (naked or otherwise, we encourage you to sign up to receive the best of the FindLaw Blogs direct to your inbox via the Legal Grounds Newsletter.