Unrelated Odd News: Woman Does Not Use Toilet Paper / Man Attacks Wife with Sandwich / Sex Offenders Sue Over Halloween

Living here in Tennessee I’ve been told of people using corn cobs, Sears catalogs and tree leaves to wipe yourself. But not many locals tell of tales of growing up in outhouses using their hands. But I guess it takes all kinds of people to make the world go ’round.

Mayor Bloomberg may not be too fussed over the city’s startling income gap, but most ordinary New Yorkers have taken notice with small sacrifices to combat these hard times.

But one woman appears to be stretching her dollar a bit too far. A new series on TLC, aptly titled “Extreme Cheapstakes,” features Kay, a New Yorker who refuses to shell out for laundry costs. She even forgoes purchasing toilet paper.

Instead, Kay insists on using her hands, water, and soap to clean below the belt after she urinates. And as she explains, if she takes “a dump,” she wipes herself down with soap.

Why? She “doesn’t believe on spending money on something that you’re just going to throw away.” Dear mayor, please take notice.

But her refusal to spend money on toilet paper isn’t the only thing that makes Kay an extreme cheapskate. She also reveals she hasn’t done laundry in the last three years, which she reckons has helped her save $6 a month. It’s not a fortune, but when you set a strict budget for yourself like she has, every cent counts. Instead she washes all her clothes by hand, while she takes a shower. Kay then hangs them up in the shower and lets them dry naturally, which she claims helps keeps clothes looking newer for longer than if you were using a dryer.

Man Attacks Wife With Sandwich, Gets Jail Time

A 50-year-old Nebraska man has been accused of attacking his wife with a sandwich, the Associated Press reports.

Larry Spurling of Melbeta, Neb., was arrested late Sunday for disturbing the peace after he allegedly pushed his wife down and “rubbed a sandwich in her face.”

KETV.com writes:

The woman told deputies that Spurling had become irate for “making him live in the county” and “being bored since there is no place for him to walk.”

She said that the argument went on for some time, during which Spurling drank three 24-oz cans of Natty Daddy, a malt liquor with 8 percent alcohol content.

The woman told deputies that she “got tired” of the argument and made herself a sandwich and went to a bedroom.

According to the arrest affidavit, Spurling followed his wife, pushed her onto the bed and assaulted her with the sandwich.

The Scottsbluff Star-Herald notes that while court documents don’t detail the ingredients of the sandwich, a deputy “found several pieces of lunchmeat on the carpet outside of the Spurling’s bedroom and some pieces of sandwich bread inside the bedroom.”

Spurling’s wife allegedly also got mayonnaise on her face and shirt, as well as in her hair.

By the time deputies arrived, Spurling had reportedly left the scene. He was found “lying face down on grass about 10 feet” from the home.

Spurling, who appeared in Scotts Bluff County Court on Monday,pleaded no contest to disturbing the peace in connection with the incident and was sentenced to five days in jail.

Sex Offenders Sue Over Law Prohibiting Halloween Decor

(NEWSER) – A California city cracked down on sex offenders’ Halloween celebrations last month, passing a law prohibiting those convicted of sex crimes from decorating for the holiday or passing out candy at their homes. Now Simi Valley is getting sued by five registered sex offenders and some of their wives and children, who claim the new law violates their First Amendment right to free speech, the Los Angeles Times reports.

Their lawyer says her clients were particularly upset by the part of the law that requires them to post a sign on their front door reading, “No candy or treats at this residence.” “To us, it’s similar to branding,” she said before making, yes, a Holocaust comparison: “We can think of what happened in Nazi Germany, where Jews had to appear in public wearing yellow stars.” She is seeking an injunction from a federal judge barring the city from enforcing the law. Similar laws are in place in several other California cities.