The 10 Guys Women Have To Choose From

1.) The Listener: This is the guy who is the shoulder to lean on when they need one. The guy who is sensitive and listens to their problems.
He does this because he thinks he’ll eventually get to hit it. He won’t. He gets friend zoned.

2.) Mr. Fix-it: This is the guy comes around and fixes things for her. The guy who thinks by helping out with her clogged sink or changing the fuel filter in her car, he’ll get her in bed. He usually never does. If he does, it is mostly because she feels really bad or just temporarily desperate. She will more often than not, regard this as a mistake after.

3.) Money Bags: This is the big shot money guy. He has a great job and loves to spend lots of money on her. Fancy dinners, jewelry, expensive clothes, purses, etc. These guys get her in bed, but not nearly as often as you’d assume. Women usually sleep with this guy when they feel they owe it to him or reluctantly give in to his persistence. Most often, she’ll use this guy as long as she can without giving him shit. These men are usually awful in bed because they regard women as prostitutes they paid for.

4.) The Poet: This guy is the ultra sensitive sweet talker. The guy who compliments and flatters. He’s overly romantic and often bores the shit out of them. Every girl enjoys flowers once an awhile, but this guy will over do it. He thinks he is sweeping her off her feet. In reality he is driving her nuts with his gushy bullshit. These guys barely get her in bed and most often wind up either friend zoned, or flat out never get called back. They’re too love sick and usually the guys who get the most jealous.

5.) The Muscle Head: These are the gym going, pretty boy, shirtless, idiots, who have little to no intelligence at all. They’re too stupid to have a decent conversation, most often self-absorbed, never hear a thing she says, like to fight when they’re drunk, aren’t trying to fix shit and aren’t thoughtful enough to buy them anything. Sometimes these muscle heads are truly insecure under their perfect exteriors and in this case, are very controlling and jealous. Simply put, they’re assholes. They do have great bodies and so they’re usually only good for one thing. However, that one thing usually only happens one time. Because women usually can’t stand to be around these guys to fuck them more than once.

6.) Boring Intellectuals: These guys usually have great jobs, are great providers and good dads. But they suck in bed, are totally boring and usually very willing to be dominated or told what to do. Women usually marry this man for the safety and security. However, they will usually cheat on him. These men do not pose any challenge and this becomes a problem almost always.

7.) The Manipulator: These guys are clever. Usually average looks, but have incredibly addicting personalities. They make everything seem fun and adventurous. They are great liars and can often convince a woman they are the perfect man. They often don’t work or have very minimal amounts of money. They balance being sensitive and being a dick so perfectly that women are amused by their unpredictability. They convince women that their downfalls are worth accepting because they promise that they will get better for them. They are excellent in bed and will use that to their advantage to keep women encompassed. They will almost always get her in bed and even date for portions of time. However, the relationships don’t last because at some point the facade lifts and the truly insecure man underneath is revealed. The lies become exploited and if she doesn’t leave, he will. Hoping to find another victim of his bullshit.

8.) The Creeper: This is the guy who is terrible looking and yet for some reason has this incredibly bizarre confidence. He will talk to girls like he is the best looking guy ever. He will almost always bring the subject of conversation to sex. He will always comment on how hot she is and never stop cracking sexual jokes. He is in all senses of the word, a total pervert. A horn dog. If a woman is going through a very insecure time and craves attention it is possible for this guy to get laid. Providing he hasn’t ‘creepered’ his way out of it yet. Most women though, although occasionally enjoy the attention, will not fuck this guy given his obvious level of desperation.

9.) The Lax Loser: These guys sit around all day and do nothing but smoke weed. They’re completely against drama or any kind of friction. They’re always preaching for people to chill out. They’re usually wimpy and afraid of confrontation. They sometimes have no job and when they do, it’s a simple one, like a busboy or gas station clerk. They get the girl in bed. However, they don’t have enough energy or personality to keep them entertained. Guys like this usually get girls going through a faze of liking guys like this. When the faze is over, so is the relationship.

10.) The Fuck Machine: This guy comes in all shapes and sizes. He doesn’t buy her shit, never listens to her problems, doesn’t fix shit, is never sensitive, doesn’t feel the need to lie or manipulate, isn’t creepy or lazy. He is flat out just a guy who the woman considers useless in every way accept for one thing. Giving her the dick because he is great at it. They have a mutual agreement on never wanting anything more. He’s the guy who knows her body, knows what she likes, and hits it in every way she enjoys. She calls him when she is in need. Most often this guy, is the one who makes her happy when she is married to the boring intellectual.

True story.