It’s late at night and the lights are out. A dull noise comes from outside of the window. It’s crickets. You’re tired and the agonizing call comes to you from the inner most aspect of your body. Your bladder. You gotta pee.
It’s dark throughout your home and you’re lobbing around like a drunk at his peak. Girls, under this condition, have the unlucky chance of falling into the toilet. And guys, if you should happen to awake with an erection, are forced to compromise your position in order to make the mark. Nothing wakens a woman faster than falling into the cold toilet water. And guys, nothing is more uncomfortable than to force your cock down when it’s fighting your every move. But it’s the dilemma most humans face… Peeing While Asleep.
Some opt for holding it until morning when it’s been held so long that it hurts to even walk, none the less pee. Some opt for peeing the bed – not a good idea, especially if you sleep with someone else. Some guys, I have known, opted for turning on their side, taking aim over the side of the bed and stream away. Disgusting and crude, no doubt, but it does happen and usually with the explanation of, “Dude, I don’t remember doing that,” or “Guess I was too asleep to notice.”
Another great moment in awkward peeing is is after sex, when guys don’t clean up anytime too soon, you begin to obtain hard ‘sex’ substance and eventually to the point of peeing in every direction but the bowl. Ever see a pee stain on the wall? It’s enough to throw your roommate out on the streets.
So guys, please, for the sake of your woman, put the toilet seat down.
Please wash up after sex – IMMEDIATELY! (This also goes for masturbation, as well)
Leave a nightlight throughout your path to the bathroom.
For the pesky erection while peeing, sit down on the toilet to pee, bend forward and allow your penis to be naturally aimed downward.