Naked Florida Man Burglarizes and Pooped, Ate Vacuum Cleaner Content and Masturbated

Okay all. I found our “Weirdo Of The Day” (Well really, this one is the “Weirdo Of The Month”, hands down).

Again with the Florida Weird News, which is being considered as a special segment here on Eagle. This one comes out of Fort Myers and is quite possibly the weirdest one yet.

But before I give you the story, let’s take a quick look at other Florida news that makes me miss my home state more and more.

• We have a professor who claims Sandy Hook was a hoax – CHECK
• Cops arrest a woman 22-years later for a few bucks in court fines, all due to a single shoplifting stint for cigarettes – CHECK
• A Florida woman beats her sex partner because he came too fast – CHECK
• There was this guy who left his baby at a strip club – CHECK
• Oh, and don’t forget the wife who hog tied and dragged her ex-husband - CHECK
• Oh, and let’s not forget Brenda, from Vero Beach who pooped when she caught her husband cheating (that’s my favorite) – CHECK
• And let’s see… Hulk Hogan wants to open another titty restaurant (I am shamed to call him my former neighbor)
• And finally, the guy who beat his kids for farting - CHECK and CHECK (there’s more. Just type “florida” in our search bar and see all these stories and more pop up on our site.)

And then there’s this guy.

Meet Gregory Mathew Bruni, the naked burglar who pooped in a victim’s home.

FORT MYERS,FL–A Florida man ran into a home naked, pooped, masturbated and got shot at by the homeowner.

Police say Gregory Mathew Bruni was on the roof of a home in North Fort Myers when the homeowner, Tony Land, went outside after hearing a lot of commotion.  Bruni, 21, jumped on top of the homeowner and then ran inside the house.

The homeowner said Bruni pulled a TV off the wall and spilled the contents of a vacuum onto the floor. Police say the homeowner’s wife got a gun and began firing at Bruni.

Police arrested the naked man but not before he could whack a mole in the living room (literally, a real mole), rub clothes on his face, poop in two places in the home, eat contents from the vacuum and masturbate in the house.

After in custody, police say Bruni was immediately taken to the hospital for evaluations.  He was not injured in the shooting.

Gregory Mathew Bruni was charged with criminal mischief, battery and occupied burglary.

Related articles

• Naked Man Burglarizes and Defecates in Home (foxcharlotte.com)
• Rough day for this public masturbating pooper (bazaardaily.com)
• Defecating, Masturbating Naked Carnie Attacks Fort Myers Home (blogs.browardpalmbeach.com)
• Florida cops Taser naked burglar who pooped and masturbated when homeowner pulled a gun (rawstory.com)
• Gregory Matthew Bruni Arrested For Naked, Violent, Defecating, Masturbating Rampage (thehollywoodgossip.com)
• Like something out of a Coen brothers’ script (hanskcjournal.wordpress.com)
• Nude Burglary: Who Have You Walked In On Naked? (kiss951.cbslocal.com)
• SPD: “Naked Prowler”, “Naked Burglar” not the same person (krem.com)